Where to begin:

It is sunday, april 26. I have not blogged since november. I have been inside an intense season of revelation, blessing, and spiritual maturation. my fingers, my mind….they cannot find the words to express the love i am experiencing for My Father in Heaven right now.

One story at a time, and hopefully anyone out there wondering, prodding, poking, searching, or criticizing will have an opportunity to see God’s masterpiece of grace through the lives of His people here in Seattle.

I have been an employee of Foundation House at Bothell, an upscale independent retirement community for about 9 months now. I have seen 4, count ‘em, 4 Executive Chefs come and go, and have been asked by the Lord to stay, at least one year and see his favor increase, among peers, friends and other men. It has not been easy, knowing my rate of pay has been the same as my subordinates (much like the Corporal in the US Army-more responsibility, same pay as a Specialist rank E4) and being the one called upon to continue driving the meal preparation and service forward in lieu of a permanent Chef…ordering, managing, inventory, training, 6 days a week, all the weight of the FHB meal schedule in my lap. I am not saying God did not provide help, leadership, and encouragement, however; Chris has been a huge blessing to me, and at least for a short 2 months or so, it seemed like I would have a friend/brother to share with in Christ’s blessings and will in that kitchen. He’s gone on now, and I am thankful for his new job-

My point, though, is that GOD IS FAITHFUL. Kari and I lived with Pastor Keith and his family until VERY recently, and in the last month, He has blessed us RICHLY for our patience and humilty. We have our own apartment, well under the average percentage cost for dual income couples in this city, i got a FREE tonsillectomy done at the seattle V.A., and we both have been given raises in the last week! Praise God for his provision!

Please pray for us as we approach the beginning of our very own House Church, as well as for motivation for me to continue sharing what God is doing here through this venu.

 

Thank you…next story will be about acting! for worship!

jeff

As I usually do, let me start this blog with an apology. It is almost excrutiating for me, as legalistic and disciplined as people see me being, to actually committ and follow through with this weekly blogging. I owe it to so many people who have supported me to give the effort it takes to keep them informed. I am truly sorry, and am starting over with my attempt.

So, where to begin….again. Kari and I are still living with Keith and Kristine, Dave and Aaron, and the boys. We are soo thankful for the Lord’s provision of this house, and have learned and grown substantially as a result of being here. Our current prayer is that the Lord would allow us to continue to persevere in our financial battle, and become debt free as soon as possible. If it is His will, we would also like to begin saving AGRESSIVELY for a down payment, as the housing market looks like it will stay in our favor for some length of time. While we love our current living situation, we are very excited to host our own House Church, and have a space of our own to entertain, train, and make new friends while continuing to love on the ‘old’ ones.

A week ago tomorrow I had an accident at work, slicing almost completely off the tip of my left thumb…When chef said to put my heart and soul into my work, I must have misinterpreted him as saying my flesh too….oh well! I am fine, 7 stitches later, and am thankful for the extra day off last saturday that allowed me to finish ‘polishing’ my first “sermon” ever, which I was priveleged enough to get to present to the growing core development team of Epic Life Church this last sunday night, november 2. The Lord spoke, and it was AWESOME! I even got to use a Rome:TotalWar metaphor that even the ladies could understand and make use of (hopefully).

I am optimistically praying about and dreaming about the talks/plans/opporunity of the Create Cafe, which Keith and I have met and discussed a few times. This ministry would facilitate some awesome fellowship, employment, income, and a myriad of other events. Owned by the church, there would also hopefully be a lot of freedom to experiment and spend freely any profits on the advancement of the Kingdom, becuase there wouldn’t be greedy shareholders, partners, or even a struggling entrepeneur pinching every penny. Anyway, its a great idea, and I am stoked to be learning many many trade secrets that I may one day be called to put into practice for Jesus!

So, cut my finger-ok. Living with the carps-awesome. My wife-the best! Job-hanging in there. Church-fun, growing, challenging, exciting. That’s pretty much it for now. Thanks for reading!

 

jeff

Today, Keith and I had “a meeting”… I know what you’re thinking-wait….no I don’t.

Well, I seem to be having eloquence-blocked trains of thought right now, and cannot for the life of me think of anything smart to say. So, I will just tell you the story of our talk.

We met at 9 this morning, and might I add, what a beautiful morning it was! Sunny, 62 (to be precise), and not a care in the world on my weekly monday (day off). We talked marriage, we talked ministry, and we talked volleyball! It was the time I have been praying for as I know he has been super busy getting settled and being a father, husband, and senior pastor of a budding church….sounds easy, right? I don’t think so.

Anyway, we discussed my potential roles and what we are struggling with and where our vision is taking ourselves, or families, and ultimately the Body here in Seattle…If you [brothers] have not done this with your pastor lately, DO IT! They are God’s instruments-shepards. You are the flock! Be sheparded! It feels good. Talk with him (or her), share, be real, be UNAFRAID. ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for the Lord Jesus’ instructs GOD, via Paul. The thing that stuck, and that will continue to stick, was Keith’s suggestion to learn to be “humbly confident.” We see Christ doing it all the time-leading by serving, teaching in parables (”…let he who is without sin cast the first stone…”), and giving ALL glory to the FATHER.

It is the task, the goal, the battle….the EPIC that young men must face. Learn to defeat your pride/desire for glory through experience of GOD’s realized potential through you. No confidence in self; pure, unadultered, infallable confidence in the One who has all power. No shame, no fear, no doubt; pure, full, unbreakable, immovable assurance in what, how, and why HE is doing. Period.

That is my quest. It’s what I want to know. What I want to see. To hear. To speak. To teach…Humble Confidence.

I would like to publicly praise the Lord for the encouragement He has been offering me via a potential Nebuchadnezzar in my life.

My boss has not yet openly disclosed where his “internal motivation” derives from, however I have noticed a small rug thingy recently hung on his doorway quoting the ‘holiest…dalai llama’ and I am still prayerfully considering when and how to ask questions about his faith and initiate a discussion. Mind you, I am his employee, visa vis his servant, and therefor offer him my full respect, attention, and worksmanship. I do know, however, that ‘good people’ are and will be perishing eternally and desire that he and everyone I know come into and remain in a love relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ, His son, the Way.

That being said, I remember how the Lord has used, and will continue to use people who don’t, or just don’t yet believe He is. I am encouraged, most of the time EVERY DAY, and sometimes more than once a day, by the Lord my God through this man. It is truly amazing, to be blessed and affirmed verbally, professionally, and socially by a man I greatly respect and aspire to be like (in the kitchen anyway). God uses him to tell me how hard I am on myself [duh], how that can be used for the positive, and how I am enough (i.e. good enough, smart enough, punctual enough, respectful enough, and talented enough) to do the job at hand.

PRAISE THE LORD! I have read and trust in the “Five Love Languages” study, and know firsthand from my marriage that communicating love in an effective way has sooooo much more success for the person being loved. I love going to work! I love that the Lord of Hosts finds a way, and makes it clear that it IS Him, to love me each day in the dialect He created me to be loved in.

Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will be opened. I am not sure where or why that verse popped into my mind, but take it as it is-it may be what you need to do, or hear.

Hey everyone, thank you for being patient with Kari and I as we lived our internet free lives for that season. We are greatly appreciative to all of you who are praying for us, checking up on us, and generally concerned with our well-being as well as that of the kingdom.

In our recent travels, many developments to our character, our marriage, and both our individual and cumulative walks with Christ have occured. As time and memory permits, we will now be sharing what the Spirit leads to bring any readers of this here blog up to speed. For me, it will be the most effective (at least I think) to start now, and work backwards. So, over the course of the past few weeks, we have been living with Keith and Kristine in their beautiful new home in Shoreline, WA along with their boys and Dave and Aaron. It has been beautiful-and difficult at the same time. We have all been learning and growing and searching for jobs, and our patience and perseverance have been being tested and grown along the way.

Anyway, that’s all another story. My repentant reward is the amazing job the Lord has blessed me with, and in my opinion, it is directly due to two things: our perseverance and obedience at Ashley Furniture, and the repentance I found myself admitting to just a week ago at Mars Hill Church in Ballard (we’ve decided to check out other churches every other week to see and enjoy and learn worship styles, small group breakdowns, etc.). The message was about Jonah, and his decision inside the belly of the whale which brought him forgiveness from the Lord and ultimately freedom from that fish. I myself was suffering from reverse pride for the three weeks we had been out here, and I knew I was becoming an idol to myself.

Kind of confusing. But, to me, reverse pride is greater than or equal to false humility. It is me pouting ‘cuz I lose at Settlers, at Spoons, and can’t find a job. It’s me focusing on me. It’s me not being thankful for what the Lord has done, is doing today, and promises to do tomorrow and forever. It’s me worshipping….well….me.

I would like to report that the Spirit of the Lord is alive and well inside my heart, and called me to repentance then and there. Without fail, He who is full of grace, accepted my plea, forgave me on the spot, and my phone rang as I was prostrated before the Lord, eyes full of tears. The message I received later (AFTER the service concluded, of course) was an offer for a great job at an upscale retirement community in Queen Anne, only to be later trumped by ANOTHER offer the SAME day in Bothell.

God truly loves each and every one of His children, and wishes to discipline and bless us equally. I am now basically apprenticing under a Chef of 25 years, who is an amazing manager and culinarian. I am learning new things about food daily, and the Lord is affirming my character through this man, who I am unsure whether even knows the Lord or not! IT IS AMAZING! I love going there! I love learning! I LOVE JESUS! He is my Savior, my Provider, and truly my REDEEMER.

Thank you Lord. Friends, all you have to do is what He tells you. Ask Him for forgiveness, and He is righteous and just, and will forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. I believe Him. Test Him on this, and He will prove His faithfulness.

Be looking for weekly BLOGS as I have made a committment to share with you every monday, and am being held to it. Grace and peace.

So. It’s time to grow. It’s time to find discipline and learn something. Why do we hum and haw when the WORD OF THE LORD is so rich? I am sick of ‘not wanting’ to. I am going to want to. There is power in prayer. I pray for the desire, and the Lord will meet me here, right?

 Right. It was laid on my heart that it may be time to read something other than the New Testament promises and applicable letters of Paul. It is time to start seeing/looking for some perspective. My wife tells me all (or most) new Christians have their “New Testament phase.” Well, I am tired of trying to be smart and learn missionary journeys, church models, and techniques for successful spiritual warfare. Don’t misunderstand me: those things, each of them, are pure gold, and delight the Lord I am sure. My season is changing. I feel a sense of ‘long-haul’ syndrome coming on. I need promises. Old ones. I need whispers. Old ones. I need God-breathed, recorded, tested, proven TRUTH.

  So, where do you go for OLD? How ’bout the OLD Testament? Here’s a fun fact: Jeff memorized all books of the Bible for Lutheran Church Missouri Synod Confirmation Classes (genesis, exodus, leviticus, numbers, deuteronomy, etc. etc.) but has never even read or CONSIDERED reading some of them! Which ones you say? Joel. Obadiah. Jeremiah. Isaiah. Too long. Too insignificant. That’s what the lie/fear has been anyway. My confessions are pure, and it is time to dispell and disarm the enemy. I am reading Jeremiah. That’s it. It’s settled.

 [Mind you, this decision was made days ago, and has taken a few days to get over that last little hump of getting started. Now, with the help of my wonderful, encouraging, determined wife-we begin.]

 I study the blueprint/megatheme/overview notes before embarking on any journey in my NIV, partially to procrastinate just a little bit more, partially to prepare myself for what is ahead. I think, with the length and gerth of the book of Jeremiah, I may find myself referring back to this page often. One of the keynote sentences that spoke to my heart and convinced me that this is where the Lord would have me begin is as follows: “Don’t settle for half measures in removing sin.” I have been blessed to study I and II Samuel (moreso the latter) and some of I Kings, and know the imminent fall of Judah that is rapidly approaching. I knew of King Josiah, but not of his attempts to turn his people to repentence. Apparently I hadn’t heard of that becuase the attempts were half-hearted and unsuccessful. To state my point: I am Josiah. I stand ready to claim victory in the battles with more than one addiction, and do not mean to half-heartedly claim this victory. I want it all. I acknowledge that I can only do this through Christ.

Jeremiah 1:6b “I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.” [words of Jeremiah]

    This is interesting that the Lord starts out this way particularly because I have played the ‘baby Christian’ card I think to the fullest of its applicability. It is time to stand up and speak the words and truths the Lord is going to give to me. It is time to overcome my doubt in myself and stand firm in my faith in HIM. My next point: I am Jeremiah. I feel like the Lord desires to use me to speak to people in Seattle just the same as he desired Jeremiah, but similarly, my fear and inexperience, and lack of a certified collegiate diploma, lack of confidence, and now lack of devotion/discipline is beginning to stand in my own way. I am going to study Jeremiah for his persistence in the face of persecution, his faithfulness despite lack of acknowledgement by the people he was prophecying to, and the assurance he had in knowing the love of the Lord was his.

To be continued…

So, on a more serious note, I wonder what my wandering has been producing for the Kingdom of Christ…if anything. Ok, first I’ll divulge a bit about the title.

As of late, my wife and I have been seemingly trapped in our tedious yet bearable cycle of Ashley, Seattle meeting, Ashley, Crown, Ashley, friends, Ashley, sleep, Ashley, fight, Ashley, forgive, Ashley, pay bills, Ashley….Sounds mad fun, right? Well, it feels to me like we are wandering through a black abyss of trials and suffering and lessons. I mean, the lessons are necessary, the subject matter is all based on firsthand experiences we have the privelege of undertaking, and the teacher is He who teaches.

 I rejoice that we are learning financial discipline from our involvement in Crown Financial. It is freeing to know that we have an attainable, Godly goal of debt freedom, and it is refreshing to battle the evil one in a new and exciting way (i.e. what to spend, what to save, etc.). However, the Scripture memorization, while a required and beneficial slice of the proverbially delicious Crown pie, is NO Substitute for true, one-on-one intimacy with Jesus Christ.

This is where we are. Wandering. Battling. Refusing to waver in our thankfulness, our persistence to spread the Gospel of Christ in the darkest place EVER, and our growing love for one another. Sadly, we are stubborn and inexperienced enough at this marriage thing that we have no Bible time, and no knowledge of how to lovingly encourage each other to just get UNlazy and get reading.

Please pray for Kari and I. This is our plea: That the living word of the Lord would become more desirable than the finest cuisine, more enjoyable than the most exciting medieval trilogy ever, and more enrapturing/captivating than even we are to each other.

This will be the ‘101′ version of the class ladies and gentlemen, as I (the professor, jeff) am sure there will be future discussions/installments of this blog down the road that is my life.

 First, live your life.

Second, don’t write about it.

 Lastly, if you do get encouraged by some transpirings of the day(s) (or weeks) since you’ve last blogged, forget to do it.

That’s it. Oh, repeat.

So here’s Paul’s final remarks and greetings at the end of the book of Romans. I think it’s just dandy the way he closes his letters… He urges his brothers and sisters in the Lord to join him in his struggle by praying to God for him…doesn’t this look a lot like us and our current burden of asking for partners? both prayer and financial…? I think we can all learn a lot from Paul and the bold attitude he displays….along with the confidence he has in the body of Christ to respond.

He then starts the last chapter of this book with: “I commend to you our sister Phoebe…” and goes on to tell/ask the church at Rome to care for her and “give her any help she may need from you…” and I just love the way he KNOWS they will do what he asks. How can we get the church there? Back there….With deception, dishonesty, and selfishness that flood the poeple of the world today, can we as a church avoid the “red tape” of church-hood and do what Paul and what I believe Jesus Himself sees to be the CORRECT action/behavior of the body of Christ!?! I feel like there will be many opportunities in Seattle, and there are opportunities now to do just that. While giving without frugality is not necessarily what I am suggesting, there has to be a way (with the discernment of the Holy Spirit) to love and give and BE who we are supposed to be. I think of Kristine’s emotion and desire to LOVE LOVE LOVE people in Seattle….and it pains me to think of the churches of today that have to vote, pray, wait, stall, and not just act on the groans of the Spirit….I am unsure what any of this looks like for us, but the groceries we have received, the meals we have prepared and fed even some of you, and the TIME that we spend praying for/with eachother is going to build us into whom I see us needing to be….(rambling, so I am done…)

So, here we are. Yep. Here we are. Our job, our apartment, our vehicles, the cold. Here we are. I have been aching for these months now, not just like discontent, but ACHING over the amount of poopoo we (kari and i) put ourselves through at that infamous place [work]. It’s not like we don’t have Jesus in our hearts and can’t find joy even in suffering, is it?

My responsibilities as a husband leader in a Christian marriage have been actually turned into weapons against me by the enemy. I hate the way there is the slightest little bit of truth in every lie satan throws at us. It’s always just enough to make us take his accusations seriously…or at least consider them….which is all the time he needs. Pathetic. Here I am, moaning and groaning about an enemy I should be MORE THAN CONQUEROR of. It is confession time.

So, we’ve started a Crown Financial small group at PV, and I am fearful about that. Driving, staying up a little later than usual…etc. It’s an extracurricular commitment that we’ve been waiting for, and I need some prayer support bros and sisses (anyone reading) becuase not only is that new commitment on our plate, but the upcoming two-phone-calls-a-night routine as we attempt to call everyone we have sent letters to. Not only those, but I have been in and out of sin and need, need, NEEEEED to start being consistently victorious for my wife’s sake. It is unfair to her to continue sucking. [why am i posting all this where the world can read it....why?-submit yourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ. that's why-anyone reading this blog should know i am a regular guy. just like everyone else. not righteous. not even a little bit sure of myself. all i have is in Christ. ALLL i have is from Christ. ALLL I HAVE IS CHRIST.]

chew on that.

  and if you would, pray for kari and i to be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and incapable of keeping a record of wrongs as we learn about this thing called marriage.